Dating Someone Who Likes To Get Tanked
February 3, 2014
My friend is still having drama with his woman, but I guess it at least gives me something to write about.
You need to talk to her. Tell her that its something that seriously bothers you. Lack of handling her alcohol. Its one thing to drink. Its one thing to drink frequently. But its an entirely different thing to black-out drink or getting hammered like that on the regular. Sure, sometimes it happens after some bad judgment but if its happening all the time, sounds like she has a problem with alcohol and its relation to her social activities.
Either way all you can do is tell her how it makes you feel and what actions you’re prepared to take if it keeps up. Like others said, she either takes note and makes efforts to keep herself in better check or she doesn’t. Its something to be watchful of for sure. Jump ship right now before actually having that conversation? I probably wouldn’t but if its a problem for you, I wouldn’t put up with it for long after you talk.
If you don’t have an all out alcohol problem a person CAN change. And they CAN change if told by their partner this is something that bothers them. They might not have thought it was a big deal or realized how it looks to others. The relationship has to mean enough to them but it doesn’t have to boil down to them feeling resentful or held back from doing what they want to do. People can still have fun without getting blasted each time they partake.
I CAN have a problem with alcohol if I’m not careful. It hits me weird sometimes. I’ve had periods where I got too messed up for my own good each time I drank. I recognized the problem, and recognized when its been a problem in a relationship and we discussed it. There are ways to pace oneself so that doesn’t happen. If you know that you’re especially sensitive you need to put gappers in there. A few waters or sodas between drinks helps. Especially big waters/sodas. And making sure to have a substantial meal beforehand. OR, novel idea, don’t put yourself into situations where there’s apt to be binge drinking going on.
Her emotional sensitivity to the issue is low right now. Yours is high. She can crank her awareness to her sensitivity to it up and be more cognizant of how binge drinking makes her look. She just has to choose to do so.
While there’s always plenty of room for debate on this…I’m speaking of my own thoughts here and would avoid debating a subjective idea….I personally think there’s a grey area between not being an “alcoholic” and being one. I think you can have a problem with